Friday, 10 July 2009

10,400ft, a parachute and a fat man = AWESOME




Wednesday we decided to head to the biggest Tenador Libre in the whole of Arentina, it basically involved as much food as you can eat for a fixed price... including steak. As it was the biggest one in the whole of Argentina you can imagine how much food there was. So much steak, pasta, seafood, fish, all the extras including a load of chinese food, not to mention the puddings! I think Drew got through a good 8 plates worth of food, he probably could have had more but the restaurant started to shut and they closed down the buffet points.

The next morning we spoke to a sweet english girl called Amy who told us she had been skydiving the day before... it didn´t take too much to convince us and before we knew it we were on the bus on the way to the hanger. We were with 3 other english guys and a german, who had come to Cordoba especially to skydive. There was a rickety little plane that could fit 2 comfortably, so in squeezed 6 people... We went up one at a time with our tandom jumper and camera man. They gave us suits to wear which were skintight and unbelievably attractive, especially as mine was bright pink. The camera man wore a blue suit with his camera attached to his white helmet in a smurfesque manner. Olly, one of the other guys, jumped first, he was about 6ft, 105Kg and attached to a guy about Drew´s height, we were all slightly concerned. However, the jump went fine and next thing I was in the tiny little plane attached to a man who rather resembled a large ball. We reached 10000ft they opened the door and the wind hits you, its freezing cold and the ground is a long way below. The camera man climbs out onto the wing and films you while you jump. The fat man rolled me out to the edge of the door and we hung over the 10000ft drop, the camera man is trying to convince you to smile and wave at the camera while the wind is tearing your face off, you can see the videos, we were not at our most attractive. Then he threw us out. We free fell for around 30seconds before the parachute is released and you get pulled upwards and away from the camera man who is still trying to to make you smile and wave, by this point I was finding it awesome so it wasn´t too hard to smile. The parachute ride down is amazing as well, the man does turns and loops and the view is of the mountains and lake in the distance.

Drew´s jump...

So, I didnt quite have the same luxurious safety breif as Abi (who definately looked like a prawn, curled up with her legs and arms folded backwards in a pink suit). Too funny for words. I had my costume shoved on next to plane and jumped on with an extra 2 jumpers who took pleasure in closing my legs together having the effect of a nut cracker. Literally. The flight was cramped but chilled out, yawning, taking a glance at the moutains and lakes, cities and landscape. As my fat little freind started to clip me onto him, the door opened unexpectedly and two other fellas seems to fall out of he plane, controlled is not the expression I would use. Holy poo. I thought I was going to be sucked out, the cold hits you, I fell towards the door with the extra space and then realised i was only half attatched to my buddy. They shut the door and climbed another thousand of or so feet to 10,400, a nice height, a little chilly but you can`t complain...or cry...or stop it the jump. Once the guy strapped me on, we had to take it in turns to breath, everytime his big belly moved I had the air squeezed out of me, we had a system going on. I wasnt afraid of the height, the skydive, the cold, the landing...just my friend, my portly friend struggling to breath. I was certain he was going to have a heart attack, I figured if he was struggling this much now, what about 10 seconds time. Too late. The door burst open and the cold hits again. I found myself willingly shuffling across to the door, its all fine. Then your legs drop off onto, well nothing. Crap. Not so cool. Not cool at all. My weight pulled the guy suddenly to the door as he jolted me down with a jerky stop as he managed to grap the door to stop an early descent. Phewww. I saw the camera man, loving it, happy little fella, a smiley smurf desperately trying to get some cool poses out of me. This was fine until I looked down. The video shows it all, a pathetic excuse for a smile, rippling cheeks that shot up to my forehead. At this point, there was no way I could breath, my lungs being crushed by the big guy and air being sucked out by the wind, for a breif moment I weighed up the chances of me passing out through lack of air and chubby chappy having a heart attacky. It seemed likely. Then the 1,2,3, face down. Freefalling. O no, face up, the wind flipped us back upright and the belly got stuck a couple of hundred feet above me, I thing I saw a steak from the day before his the airplane. That was the rush, not seeing the ground, feeling acceleration. A few seconds later we had regained control and took the classic positioning - tongue out, thumbs up, a few dances (swimming fish, big box small box) although to be honest they turned out to look more like flailing arms of a crying man. I swear I wasnt crying, it was just an illusion. And when i grabbed his arms, it was to calm him down, i could tell he was afraid. Well 35 odd seconds of freefall, 8 minutes and floating down and a few starjumps and supermans later I achieved a sliding bum finish to glory. Skydived, check.

1 comment:

  1. oh yes this i have to see. prawns and all. now all i have to do is to find out how to. thank goodness no advance warning was given, better to know agter the event.

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